Fixing An Essay 1


You have no citation for your hook – which is alos copied.

You have no background to the general topic

You have no thesis – only an announcement and that is half your introduction

Body 1 – Where are your arguments – it seems to come from a collection of sources.

Body 2 – Information is basically the same point as in body 1

Body 3 – in text citations are not correct. The language is very good – too good for this level

Counter- is not developed…in text citation is not correct . I am also not sure what your point is in your refutation.. WHy is online shopping any different from ‘normal shopping’ in the effects?

Conclusion:- Is this paper about COMPULSIVE buyers? I am confused. You have not summarized the body paragraphs.

Your in text citations are generally not correct

Reference page needs a little work

There are some citations that are not in your reference page.

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